In 1776, during a seession of the Contenantal Congress on June 7th, the representative from the coloney of Virginia , Richard Henry Lee , made a motion that "these united colonies are and of right ought to be free and independant states." The resolution was adopted on July 2nd and the Decleration of Independance was approved on July 4th. Thus, a new soveregine nation, the United States of America was offically born on that day. From Wikipedia
The 4th of July is a federal holiday in America . Families often celebrate that day by hosting or attending a picnic or barbecue and take advantage of the day off . Actually the fireworks displays occur in the evening at such places as parks, downtowns and beaches.
The amusing fireworks attract adults before kids. Fireworks go high in the sky and have many diffrent colors. They spark and show the colors of the beautiful American flage . Those fancy fireworks represent the peoples' feeling about being independant. I only celebrate and go out to park with my friend and my family during two days in third and fourth of July.
The 4th of July is a federal holiday in America . Families often celebrate that day by hosting or attending a picnic or barbecue and take advantage of the day off . Actually the fireworks displays occur in the evening at such places as parks, downtowns and beaches.
The amusing fireworks attract adults before kids. Fireworks go high in the sky and have many diffrent colors. They spark and show the colors of the beautiful American flage . Those fancy fireworks represent the peoples' feeling about being independant. I only celebrate and go out to park with my friend and my family during two days in third and fourth of July.
Hi Mayssa!
ReplyDeleteHow are you? I am well. This writing still needs a bit of work. First, I would like you to make sure that every paragraph has a topic sentence. Once you have a topic sentence, then make sure that your other sentences have a enough detail and are specific enough to support your topic sentence.
Then, I want you to read this again and see if you can find the words that are missing and the sentences that sound strange!
After that, return this to me and I will grade it again. Also, where did you get your evidence from? What website? You should probably say that in your paragraph about the colonies. You would write it like, "According to__________________, the thirteen colonies...."
BUT, really think about how this supports your topic. What is your topic sentence here?
Work on these things, and then I will check this again!
9/15.
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ReplyDeleteDear Mrs. Kristi,
ReplyDeleteKindly note that I have done some changes to my essay, besides I deleted the part you asked about, with a diiffrent information. I hope it will be good.
Sincerely,
Mayssa
Dear Mrs. Kristi,
ReplyDeleteKindly note that I have done some changes to my essay. Besides I removed the paragraph you asked me about, because I reformed some ideas which I hope they are acceptable.
Regards,
Mayssa